by:Shirley.C
Hello and today I'll write about my club that I visited,the art and crafts club
1.The art club
The president is my friend's big sister(I don't remember her name). She is very artisitc and is very creative.
There is also the vice president Christy, they are both very nice ladies.The club meetings are held at lunch time on Wednesdays and Thursday at the art room, room 125. The club is very relaxed because the presidents allow you to work on your own projects while also teaching you tips on improving your art. Many club memebers are very talented in art. In the club they will give you some constructive crtism on your art, however we will not be very harsh or blunt about your mistakes and improvements. Instead we will keep it as frindly as possible and make sure we give you tips.
If you like a relaxed atmosphere while being able to draw to your heart's desire then join the art club. There you can learn how to improve your art as well.
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ReplyDeleteit sounds like the art club is a lot of fun because i love drawing!! Overall the club seems like a positive atmosphere to hang out in.some grammar needs to be fixed, she is very artistic and is very creative, should be she is very artistic and creative. Many club members are very talented in art, should be; many club members are very talented artists. i love the way you described how the people acted int the club. for example members in the club will give you constructive critism. you described the club very well and i would enjoy coming to one of the meetings.
ReplyDeleteGood job Shirley, I like how you said when and where the art club will be, and who would be most interested. You followed the criteria and everything, so I do not know what to say, other than the tiny spelling error, frindly. But otherwise the art club sounds great the way you described it.
ReplyDeleteHi Shirley,
ReplyDeleteEven though I don't like drawing, I think it sounds like a very good club because they allow you to work on what you want to do. Like Josh said, it was nice how you mentioned where/when the club is and who it would appeal to. The way you wrote it just makes it seem like a very good club. Your opening sentence, as an introduction, could be improved by finding a way to make it interesting. Your beginning is almost like saying "today I am going to talk about." Consider something that would help catch attention and sell the club like: Are you looking for a place to develop your artistic talents? Or to meet other artists like yourself? The art club might be the place for you!" Your post is well written overall, but I think you could improve on your "voice" or style of writing to fit your purpose. In this case I believe you chose option one which was to introduce the club details and to "sell it" to your audience. I look forward to seeing your voice develop as you write more!
Ms Lees helped with some of the wording to give examples. :D